living alone


Josie Feather URBN Home Office

I woke up at 3:30am this morning.

I wake up most days at 5am, but 3:30 feels much more brutal. 5am is quiet, but people are starting to rouse, there’s movement. The gym is usually humming along, working itself up to the buzz and bustle it hits by the time I’m leaving.

But 3:30. Everything is dead and silent. Especially during the winter, with only the wind briskly cutting through the silence. I wish I could say I am some incredibly deep individual who spent my extra time this morning thinking deep thoughts about how profound that silence is, but I most definitely did not. After dropping my husband off at the airport and realizing the work gym didn’t open until 6, I promptly fell asleep in my car.

Now that I’ve drug myself from my warm car nap, ran a few miles, forced my body to move and stretch a bit I feel much better, but 3:30 still lingers with me. I can feel it like a slight haze over my brain, with only my coffee to fight it off. What I am thinking about though is the week ahead. My husband has traveled for work since before we even started dating, so our entire relationship is dotted with these big and little gaps in time that we’ve spent apart. I’m an independent person though. To some degree I actually enjoy being alone, but I that doesn’t mean I can’t fall into a seriously bad headspace by letting myself hunker down alone for an entire week while Frank is away. In fact, last time I did that it turned ugly real fast.

So, if preparation for a little time with just me and my pups I have a few ground rules. These are things I would highly recommend if you have some solo time coming up, whether you struggling with being alone, or are just afraid of letting yourself turn into a monster person with the social skills of a yetti like myself:

  • Plan out dates. Reach out to close friends, or ones you haven’t talk to in a while and finally set that date to catch up. Brunch, coffee, a round of foosball, whatever it is, this extra time is the perfect time to do it. Even though I truly love a day spent alone at home catching up on things, when Frank’s away I’ve made it a rule that I have to go out and interact with someone every day, even if it’s just for little bit #introvertproblems

  • Make a list. Leading up to Frank leaving for a longer stint I like to make myself a list of all those little things I’ve been meaning to get to, but just haven’t. This keeps my brain engaged and keeps me from falling into a netflix trap. Whenever I start to feel myself get into a bad headspace I like to pick something off my list and jump right in. These things don’t have to be chores, sometime I add pampering things to it. Crossing “take a nice long bath” off your list feels twice as good.

  • Get those endorphins flowing baby. I typically don’t workout on weekend when Frank’s home to give us some extra time together, but when he’s away I make it a priority to do even just a short workout every day. Getting your blood flowing and your endorphins going can make a huge difference when it comes to keeping your mood up when you’re home alone.

That’s it! Even after 10 years together, with almost 8 of those being married, I still am trying to figure this stuff out. Even for someone a introverted as me some of his trips are easier than others, and I have found I still have to be really proactive to keep myself feeling my best.