It’s weird to write those words.
“I am a writer”
No one gave my permission to say that. No one else told me that I’m a writer. I haven’t written any books that have been on the NYT best seller list, and heck, I've barely put pen to paper over these last few years. But I’m done with waiting for someone to give me permission.
Writing has always been something I’ve loved. During my teens I spent almost every night spilling my angsty little heart out into my journal. I still have those journals packed away in our basement, just sitting around for anytime I feel like I could use a little dose of teenage drama in my life. As I went off to college, journaling got lost in the shuffle. I still wrote papers and essays and any number of collegiate things, but that personal connection with writing slowly faded away.
The past few years I thought about writing a lot. Like this little bug stuck in my brain, buzzing around reminding me that it’s still there, waiting for me to get myself together and get back to it. Even in the past when I was blogging regularly about style and DIYs and other fun things I found myself wanting to write more, but having no idea where to start, worried I’d alienate followers by writing more, or worse, just be bad at it.
One of the books I finished off 2018 with was the much talked about “Girl, Wash Your Face”. One of the ideas I loved that I took from that book is her belief that how we talk about our goals and dreams has a huge effect on how or if they come to be. It really made me examine how I think about my aspirations. For years I’ve been thinking “I want to be a writer someday”, meanwhile I never made any effort to write more, or at all really. This year, I’ve stopped saying passive things like “I want” and am instead swapping it with phrases like “I am” and “I will”. I feel a lot more drawn to write every single day when I’m regularly telling myself “I am a writer” because after all, writers tend to, ya know, write.
If you’re waiting for some magical day when you can say that you’re this or that, stop. Just own it. Run at it full force and stop waiting for permission.